I haven’t written a blog in almost 30 days and a large part of me is excited to be back.
I’m in the process of editing my book and I had a lot of emotions surface that began to take me over, I could physically feel myself getting overwhelmed. You see when I originally wrote this book, I had a very different audience and intention in mind but now that I’m rolling into my 4th edit, I almost find myself rewriting it completely. I’ve started over twice now, I’m honestly removing majority of the thoughts that I had placed in the book before.
The tone is changing, I’m adding illustrations and featuring other creatives now. I can tell the difference between who I was when I first began writing this book and now, I’m way more confident in myself, in my message. Back then I was trying hard to prove to myself and others that what I was doing was important enough not to quit. Now I’m questioning if that has done more harm then good, only because I’m taking so much out.
Funny enough I just finished a chapter on stress, I wrote about how when this feeling arises to lean into the new experience because sometimes that all it is. You find yourself in a unfamiliar condition (in my case writing a book for the first time) and its exactly that, my first time. I find myself battling against my own thoughts and the most beautiful part about this self-awareness no matter how I’m feeling in the moment. The advice that I’m giving, the insights and research I have included all point back to something I needed to hear too.
I needed to hear what I do maters, I needed to hear that someone believed in me even if it was only me, I needed to here congrats on writing a book, I needed to hear I’m proud of you.
If your anything like me, overwhelmed and fighting against where you are now. Allow yourself to let go and play, it’s simple yet effective advice that I put in the book, and as I learn to take my own advice. I see that maybe just maybe this book could truly help someone because at this moment its helping me.
Thank you for listening to me rank about being in the process, I really appreciate it.